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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Falling In & Out of Love


Ironically this month, the LOVE month, has been a true test of my 2012 intention ("Love Breathes Freedom"). Don't worry, to speak of all of them, would be at least 5 separate blogs. This blog will be dedicated to the small in size yet.......... large in heart town of, Buena Vista, Colorado. I have only lived here since July of 2009 and my relationship with this town has definitely been a journey of 'love & hate'. I don't like to use the word 'hate' but it's a saying and you get what I'm throwing down? By no means is there 'hate' within my heart for this town.....frustration, trapped, isolated, boredom...YES! And don't forget there is LOVE!

I lived in the Vail Valley for about 14 years, then Denver for a short time and then danced into South East Asia for 7 months to travel. When I returned from Asia in 2009, I didn't really know where to start my new life but all my amazing friends had migrated to Buena Vista. I did tell them prior to me landing in Buena Vista that I had no desire to move to a place that was even more dry than Vail (desert like), no jobs & a VERY small population of single men. However, here I am in 2012 and I'm still very single (saying this with a smile) and it's still VERY dry with way too much wind. However, the river and mountains are beyond breathtaking and when the summer blooms the energy is nothing but ALIVE and FULL!

I mean this town, can be painfully small! Everyone knows your business for the most part and you can't go anywhere without everyone knowing you. There are not many jobs and once again there is a very small pond here with available single men (quality counts in my book) and it's not even a small pond, it's a puddle. I have dated one person in two years in this town and I thought I made a wise choice but to make the story even better he decided to go back to his x-wife......SO once again, "Hello Small Town!". I suppose in small towns the truth finally comes out whether you're ready for it to or not. The up side about a small town (there are many) is that it does force you to sloooooow down, turn inward and get to know yourself on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I really love this community and this is why it's a 'hate / love' relationship.... I feel very fortunate to be in such a supportive community and really this is more of a community than I have ever been in. Other times I want to SCREAM because it's the same thing EVERY DAY (to a certain extent). I mean where are the bums, where are those little coffee shops that you walk in to and nobody knows you and you can stare at new people, where are the street performers, the freaks (there are freaks), plays, movies, cultural restaurants (more than just one) dancing, cool clothing stores, etc....CULTURE? On the flip side it's great to walk into the BV Roastary and know beautiful souls, to have them know you and to not have too many choices on restaurants so you don't go crazy deciding. I also feel that small towns start to feed your gossip soul.....So, if you weren't much of a gossiper before you are bound to get caught up in the gossip or be a part of the gossip whether it's true or not. It's a vicious circle when it comes to gossip. This person slept with that person, they are getting a divorce, so and so is an alcoholic...on and on. You get my drift.

You know it's the end of February so, I'm sure this has a little to do with my 'freak' out on this cute little town. It's been ridiculously windy and I have had the flu for 3 days, my business is slow and I'm wondering why this town doesn't catch on to the greatness of YOGA....The funny thing is, is that most of my friends who moved here first and tried to get me to move here prior to my unexpected arrival also go through this. I mean, we all have major freak outs about Buena Vista....Well, except for Mr. Turtle. He is convinced he will be buried here. And perhaps we will all be buried together in this small little town and laugh in our graves or scattered ashes. I think if people could actually make it financially here that would be another plus but, it's a tough place to find a good job or you need to get creative and create your own business.

I did come to a spiritual realization this week about my time in Buena Vista. I am quite fortunate to have 4 of my best friends of 15 years here. We have all seen each other go through many life journeys (some amazing and some not so amazing). I love them all so FREAKING much, they are part of my family and forever a part of my heart. I realized just this week after having the flu and purging (not sure if this is an actual word) out unneeded energy within my life, that we have all had HUGE transformation in Buena Vista. I believe that this place has held a lot of magic for all of us individually and we are all still in the currents of change. We have all accepted the invitation to dive deeper into our souls and this is not an easy journey because demons WILL come up. Some of us are in the beginning of this just coming out of our cacoon, some in the middle and some are ready to take flight. It's so cool to witness this happening in all of us and all different stories. We have seen each other in the darkest of places, the most brilliant times of the heart and in times of confusion but, with no doubt or hesitation we support each other 100%. This is what is so amazing to me and my time in Buena Vista. I have met other inspirational souls that have had such an impact on my life. My yoga studio, jalaBlu has been a dream come true!!!!..Not an easy path but an honorable path that Buena Vista has gifted me. I have no doubt that this jalaBlu journey has just started in Buena Vista but has not stopped to move forward to other worldly destinations.

So you see, I have 'fallen in and out of love' with Buena Vista many times over the past few years. It's just like any other relationship, you have to step in the murky waters sometimes to find a deeper and bigger LOVE. I do have an intuition that this ever changing relationship will last forever within my heart (how could it not) but that it's a small chapter in my life with a lot of potency to move to the next relationship. Without the murkiness then the clarity of the light would not shine through!

"Love Breathes Freedom"

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